Brittain, Vera, Diary, 20-21 March 1915

Diary of Vera Brittain


Case Study: 
From Youth to Experience: Vera Brittain’s Work for Peace in Two World Wars
Brittain, Vera
20-21 March 1915
McMaster University Libraries
Vera Brittain estate; McMaster University has a non-exclusive licence to publish this document.


it nearly off again, returning to work hard & plan out my days so that each moment is filled up. Hard manual labour would be easier; truly any sort of work is difficult now, when so much of intellectual life seems at a standstill and the war cry drowns the purer voices of the upper air. But that intellectual life & none other is the work for which I was made, & I must not shrink it & forget how urgently it is always needed, just because the fact that the intellectual and spiritual life reigns supreme above the strife of nations is for the time being unrecognized & unremembered. It is for such as I to uphold & invigorate that life. I will even permit myself the comfort of the thought that may be I am preparing myself thereby to be a fitter companion for him one day, since whether or no there be any difference between our intellectual capacities, he at any rate has much more knowledge than I.
I had letters this morning from Miss Barber & Miss Sarabondi[?] & also a postcard from Miss Hughes yesterday saying that everyone has got through Pass Mods. Somehow Pass Mods seems so far away & unimportant, but it is what I too have to work for none the less.
Sunday March 21st
A somewhat dismal Sunday – though no exception, I suppose, in being that to many Sundays to come & week-days too. I am slowly trying to readjust my point of view to things as they are for me now, and to make myself realize that things I valued before are still none the less valuable now because yet greater things, sorrow & love and hope, have entered my existence. It is strange how different Roland’s impending departure makes everything appear. Nor do I think they will ever look quite the same again. Never before have I had any real trouble, though I have often imagined one, or have suffered from temperamental difficulties but I did not know what trouble was then.