Brittain, Vera, Diary, 15 March 1915

Diary of Vera Brittain


Case Study: 
From Youth to Experience: Vera Brittain’s Work for Peace in Two World Wars
Brittain, Vera
15 March 1915
McMaster University Libraries
Vera Brittain estate; McMaster University has a non-exclusive licence to publish this document.


given a transfer to the 7th Worcestershire Regt. – Territorials – which is on the point of going abroad & is short of two officers. He is to take one of those vacant places. This news was not unexpected but is none the less a terrible shock to me. I can hardly realize that the moment has come at last which ends my peace of mind until the war is over – that in a few days’ time the individual so very dear to me will have gone over to those regions of bloodshed and death, perhaps – nay, probably -- never to return. The worst of it is he wrote to me at college thinking I was going down on Monday & trying to arrange a meeting in London on that day. He says he can’t possibly go to the front without seeing me, & certainly I could never let him go without saying goodbye however sad it is to do so. But the letter was delayed & now I don’t know where he is or where to write to him. Of course I answered at once to the old address at Lowestoft, saying I would come to London for the day if necessary. If only we had stayed at Oxford for the week-end! Then I would have gone to London for the day with mother – but “if” is so useless. I shall not rest until I hear from him. I also wrote to Edward asking him if he could not arrange to go up to London earlier or at least meet me there for the day.
Later. I was getting ready for bed this evening when a telephone message – which with a kind of presentiment I have been half expecting all day – came for me from Roland in London. The beloved voice made me shiver with apprehension, thinking of the time when I should hear it no more. He tells me he is going to the front – not in ten days’ time but on Saturday. Last night he telephoned to Edward in Folkestone, who was much surprised at his news. E. also told him where I was. He seemed to think he would not be able to see me, though he said he would have come to Oxford had he known, but I told him that